dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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