Don't you send me to vm
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
