i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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