is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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