Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
