I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
