I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
