New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
