Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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