We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
