okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
