I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
