also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
