A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
