I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
