just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
