I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
