I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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