I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
