On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
