Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
