Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
