So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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