I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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