im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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