I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
