I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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