btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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