worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My vagina just recognized that song.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Did we literally take a cab across the street
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
