I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
