Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
