i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
