Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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