if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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