Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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