I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
