Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
