if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
