I didn't shave. On purpose
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
