Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
