I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
