am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
