I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think i have herpe
just one?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
