i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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