Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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