He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
