i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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