But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
