love makes seman taste better
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
