I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
