the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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